Day 2

Tuesday Feb 11, 2014

I got back to the hospital about 9:00am on Tuesday the 11th. Scott was still not all there. He did recognize me though and tried really hard to talk with me. But he kept asking why he was there and why he couldn't go home. I had to keep telling him he had a stroke and that he was in the hospital. I didn't know if he would come back to me. He just kept asking over and over. He wanted to leave and was really mad that he couldn't. Every time I told him where he was, he tried to tell me that he was okay, and that he needed to get out of there.

I decided that I needed to get the kids and bring them to see their dad. I left him resting and hurried home. I had to prepare them for what they would see. They would see what I saw, and it might scare them and make them really sad. How could this be happening to THEM? I was out of my mind. I kept thinking that I should be able to shield them from all this somehow. But I knew they needed to see that at least for now, he was alright. I hoped that would would help them get through and find strength.

We arrived and Scott didn't recognize them. He talked to them, and tried to act like everything was fine, but we all knew it wasn't. The visit didn't last 5 minutes. I realized there was nothing I could do or say, except, "See Dad's here. He's getting better everyday." Our eight year old sobbed. Our teenagers didn't know how to react. They kept it together and stood back from his hospital bed, with little emotion. I think, because they were in shock. They had never seen there father helpless before. I can only speculate about what they were thinking, because they really haven't talked about it at all. 

Later that afternoon, Scott's  best friend Anthony visited. This was the first time since Monday,  I saw Scott awake, alert and talking without slurring or mixing up words. He was able to reminisce with his old friend and talk about the things he loves  most, hunting and guns. This was the first time I realized  we were now hunting for hope. The hope that Scott would come through this and be the same man as before. The hope that this experience would somehow teach us to be stronger and better. The hope that we could somehow not take any of the time we have together for granted. We were now on a hunt for answers to how we would move forward from this. No one could tell us for certain what we were facing.