A Picture Says A Thousand Words We Need to Hear

I thought it was time to share our most recent family photos. One of my dearest friends, came to be with us during the time Scott was first scheduled for surgery in March. When it turned out that we didn't have to stay at the hospital, we came home and had some much needed fun and time together.

One of the things we have put off for years, are family photos. I can tell you, I am not a huge fan of having my picture taken. I don't feel like my body issues need to be immortalized, and I have always struggled with this. We have tons of pictures of our children, but rare are the pictures of us, being ourselves with our children just as we are.  They deserve those kind of memories. I deserve  those kind of memories. I know that now, more than ever. I feel so much regret for hiding away from the camera my whole life. "Who wants to see that?" Was the internal thought in my head, always.

Nothing like being told your time may be limited, to force you to wade through insecurities and get to what really matters. Nothing matters to me more than these individuals. I owe such a debt of gratitude to these people we've helped create and the person who has shared every single up and down, side ways, tragic, and magic moment for the past 16 years.

I cannot thank Tanya enough for making this happen. I'm so grateful for the lessons learned that day, and every day since this photo shoot. I will never again, miss out on a family event and not let my picture be taken with my loved ones. It's important. It's not about what you look like, it's about sharing the moment and showing your love.

“Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don't be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.” ― Eckhart Tolle

This is what we are...a family. We struggle, we fight, we love, we play. We hope. We cannot lose what we are...and it's worth sharing. Always. So what, if your body's not perfect, few are. So what if your hair isn't great, no one cares about that. When we look at pictures, we are looking at memories. The whole point is to bring our minds back to that moment and recall an emotion. Never again, will I waste an opportunity to make a memory that my children, family, and friends can share, with me in it.

When I look at these pictures, all I see is LOVE. I laugh and cry and feel grateful for the people in my life that matter most. This is what is important. If I can share any wisdom here, it's that you need not wait, for the perfect shot, the perfect frame or moment to capture the images of YOUR life. It's short! It's happening now. It's here. If you're reading this, take a moment to think of all the people who love you and who would miss your face if you were gone.

Someday, we when we look back on this journey, we will not have to be reminded of the sadness and fear brought about by a brain tumor. We will have these pictures, and the memories of all the closeness and love we share, to reminded us of what an awesome family we are.

Nothing about these pictures is sad, or tragic, or terrible. People are all shapes, sizes, colors, levels of emotion, and experiences. Personality is what draws the heart in, not physical appearances. Who we are, the kind of person we become, is determined by our character, and what we do, not by how we look. I might be bias, but I think we're all pretty good looking and fun!

Embrace whatever/whoever you are and whatever you're going through. There is a reason you are who you are and where you are right now.  This is the lesson I have learned. Don't wait....don't hide. Don't tell yourself "no one wants to see that." These pictures make me happy. They bring me joy. I can't help but smile when I look at them. I know what we have, and even if it changes or is gone someday,  all I have to do is look at these photos, and I will be right back in those moments.

I could bore you to tears with all the psychological empirical evidence and neuroscience behind how the brain works. But nothing is more effective for changing your thought patterns and they way you think than meditation. I just lost you with the mere mention of the word meditation. Mumbo jumbo, hippie nonsense, yada yada...Right? The reason I share this, is because, if you're anything like me, you need something concrete, tangible and reliable to make changing your ways easier and long lasting.

What all of my posts generally describe is learning to become more mindful. Being mindful is the awareness of things happening right how. The great thing about our brain, is that it doesn't know whether or not we are actually in the present, when we are thinking our thoughts. We are just in whatever moment we are thinking about. Meditation helps us become more mindful. It doesn't have to look like all the stereotypical things you're thinking it is. You don't have to sit, or chant, or hum...you don't have to light the incense or burn any candles. You don't even need a yogi, or a Jedi master. All you need is you and your thoughts. You can read more specifically about how and why this works here.

Why is this important? This photo below is called "trust me."

It's important because when I look at these pictures, I'm instantly happy. I'm back in the park, playing with my kids and watching my husband do the same. I feel all the emotions I did in that moment, and my brain thinks this is all happening RIGHT NOW. Even if at the present, I'm struggling to see what I have and why I should be happy. The more I show my brain these images, the happier I feel, even later on when I'm not looking at them anymore.

You can never un-see an image. Its always there to recall and to retrieve anytime it's needed or wanted. In the depths of my sorrow, I can recall these moments of shear joy and the feelings these pictures and others like them evoke, and be in that moment, and feel positive emotions instead. It's simply the most powerful  and effective method I know to avoid being stuck in negativity. Is it that easy?  Yes! It really is. The more happy thoughts you expose your brain to, the happier and more hopeful you feel.

See for yourself. It doesn't take hours a day. You can do this for seconds at a time, several times a day, as often as you need. When you become more mindful of all the good that surrounds you, you will see hope is alive and well. Don't take my word for it. Try it. See if you can take yourself back to a happy moment of your own.

Even better, go and make a new happy moment and then take a picture.... It'll last longer.